a Greet from Januari

Hello there, here's my 4th blog site, the continue of my lifetime stories in my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd before.. But i'll still active in my 3rd, so see u here and there!! ;)

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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

in the end, heart will find its way.

Packed my things and brought my self back home. 
For a while..

That day, I followed my heart. After so long I never let my heart decide, that day I did. How many years since I never listen to my own heart anymore? You tell me!

That day, was my third week living in Jakarta. City that I always been dreaming of to work. I got a job, I leave my hometown. But that day, I quit my job, I followed my heart.

Quit from my job and leaving Jakarta doesn't mean I'll be back and live in my hometown again for forever. I'll still work there, and live my own life back in Jakarta someday, soon, or even sooner. Just not today, because it's now my heart's turn to decide.

Yes, I just want to follow my heart again, after years I neglected its voices, its screams, let it burried deep in the darkest corner in my body and abandoned. I thought I was protecting it when in fact I've treated it like a prisoner. It's a welcome back and sorry to my heart now.

Foot in my hometown. Coming back home as a storyteller to my mom, about my quick surprise in life and my lost of love that happened in a short time when I was away from her. She wasn't surprised. She knows me best. Her awkward peculiar silly daughter that needs nothing but her warm hug and best support. I love her most.

Driving down town, my best way to escape, my very best moment to think clearly about everything. Behind the wheel, I had a silent private conversation with my heart again, like for the very first time. It told me: I miss him. The one that I know has had a better life now, without me the annoying woman dancing in his mind and complicate his heart anymore. I'd be happy to know that he feels better without me now. Eventhough I won't lie, that I really miss to be a part of his life, dancing in his mind and heart. Because until this very moment, he still dancing in mine, and I don't mind. I will no longer fight what is perceived by the heart.

Be able to listen and follow my heart again, I feel happier. Like a free soul without border to limit my self in expressing anything. A peace in mind, after get my self out of my misguided thought. This is my turning point, this is my way back into the heart I left before. This is my zero point to start everything, in the same direction with the heart feeling.

Welcome heart, please be my guide! :)

x.o. Januari


Ricademus said...

Annoying??? We all are, but the right people are worth it! Hearts find their way...and take us with them. I hope yours is whole and happy again soon.

ceritajanuari said...

@ Ricademus

Amen! I must say, you're an expert in making people feel better! =)

Ricademus said...

I'm not, but I'm very happy you feel better. =)

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xo. Januari

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